Well, I’ll be dipped in hot molasses and covered in bees. I learned something new just now.

From Merriam-Webster: Flop sweat: nervous sweat (as of a performer) caused especially by the fear of failing

I thought it meant sweating so much it flops offa ya, slides in sheets through your waistband and trickles torrentially betwixt your cheeks.

Which happened for two days in a row to this humble reporter, because I started a labor-intensive outdoor project the same day a high pressure system parked directly overhead. It’ll be here all week, featuring a lack of wind to go with an excess of degrees. 94-100 of them, give or take. It was 81 degrees (eff) at 8AM today – same for tomorrow.

Ever sweat so much you get pruny? Ew.

Oh, and if you’re going to be perspirous, avoid spraying Deep Woods Cutter on your nipples. It makes things even more unpleasant.


Enough about that, here goes the stolen portion of the program, which comes by way of theft from NCP, who sto’d it from ETW. I better STFU and GTFO PDQ.

Accent: Michigan. I’m trying to say ‘y’all’ convincingly, but haven’t fooled a soul yet.

Bra size: My moobs need no restraint (yet). I’d like to be able to wiggle ’em like this someday…
Image created by Soonerpsycho of Fark Photoshop contest fame

Chore I hate: Making budgets, then sticking to them. I don’t mind cleaning, laundry, or mowing.

Dad’s name: Rodney

Essential make-up: None. I’m a boy, silly.

Favorite perfume: This girl I knew in high school wore Gloria Vanderbilt somethingorother. Intoxicating, probably wouldn’t have the same effect today as it did then.

Gold or Silver: Gold, and lots of it please. Not to wear, but it’s fun to have (I imagine).

Hometown: Grand Rapids, MI

Interesting fact: Water can exist in all 3 phases at once.

Job title: Self employed carpenter

Kids: 2 teenagers I love very much.

Pets: Puppy, 2 cats, fish, and one lightning bug named Ohm.

Living arrangements: Tiny house.

Mom’s Birthplace: Binghamton, NY

Number of apples eaten in last week: None, there were none apples eaten last week. The week before, well that was an apple orgy of sorts. You shoulda seen it.

Overnight hospital stays: Tonsils as a wee lad, car/ bike crash in 4th grade, bike/ bike crash in junior high. Many more overnights with loved ones.

Phobia: None, but spiders come close. Hate those fascinating but stay-the-hell-off-me bastards.

Question you ask yourself a lot: Is it 5pm yet? (stolen from NCP herself). Also, lots of things that begin with ‘If…”

Religious affiliation: Yep, but not currently affiliated.

Siblings: Oldest of 3, unless you count the 2 older half-siblings. Then I’m the middlest.

Time I wake up: When the sun shines through the blinds. Most of my appointments are at 9AM, so that leaves time to wake up in the sixish range.

Natural Hair color: Dwindling brown.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Okra, I guess. I’ve never had it, but it sounds gross.

Worst habit: Laziness.

X-rays: Those damn glasses don’t work at all.

Yummy food I make: I like to make a lot of food, and it’s not worth doing if you don’t make it yummy. Grilling and Indian food are my specialties, but I’ve made a mean knish, chili, and stir fry too. Oh, and authentic Milwaukee style beer brats. OMGYUM.

Zodiac sign: Taurus

Go ahead… play along. It’s fun, they say!